What Should One Do in the Hardest Situations That Befall Us?

Developing Commendable Character

1. Do not speak about a person who was once a friend and has now become an enemy.

Because —

tomorrow things between you may mend again!

and what of respect for the kindnesses he once did you?

2. Never reveal secrets that were promised to be kept in former agreements.

Because —

this disgraces you first of all; whoever does it is humiliated, and whoever refrains is honored.

it is precisely for this reason that the other side will be compelled to acknowledge you.

Just as there is no immorality in the world like threatening to reveal someone’s secret, there is no baseness like actually doing it.

There is no folly, no shortsightedness like saying, “If you don’t do such-and-such, I will go public and tell everyone.”

This has nothing to do with Islam, for Islam is a religion built on discernment.

It is not even diplomacy, not even tactics.

This is not the way of correction and upbringing.

This is not reform or wise leadership.

The mildest description of it is childishness.

3. Do not make decisions.

Because —

calamity increases the black fluid in the body known as black bile.

harm comes from a person overcome by black bile.

4. Keep silent so that the mind can cool down, and withdraw into solitude to calm yourself, or do some other right thing instead.

Because —

speaking will make you look weak.

the flaw in your character will be exposed.

5. Do not betray friends, do not be afraid, and under no circumstances mention publicly a mistake that would stain someone’s honor; if possible, tell no one at all.

Because —

exposing immoral deeds darkens people’s hearts.

it extinguishes trust.

you saw the sin, but you did not see the repentance — perhaps he has repented?!

If the aim is reform, one must always think of the way to set things right.

Curing an illness takes time too.

People, too, are given time to mend.

After all, Allah has not yet exposed so many of your own sins, because He is giving you time to repent.

Success is from Allah.

P.S.:

These are not memorized words; they are the counsel of experience, of bloody tears and sleepless, tormented nights.

Akrom MALIK