It is just that much emphasis is placed on the duties of the husband, since he is the head of the family. But…

It is just that much emphasis is placed on the duties of the husband, since he is the head of the family. But caring for and cherishing the husband is the wife’s main duty. In order to provide for the family, the husband must be in a calm and peaceful mood. His meals ready, his clothes washed, clean and ironed, his shoes shining. And let the wife not spare him her sweet words and her smile. Now the husband is ready for any battle: he works in high spirits, his work is productive, he does not get nervous, and when his work is done he hurries home. Because there is peace at home. But what if it is the other way around? The wife’s brow is furrowed, the meals are late, the clothes are unwashed and unironed; if the husband gets a little angry, the wife quarrels back without falling behind him; she darkens his heart with bitter, bitter words; she keeps confronting him with petty problems; and on top of that she invents false complications to draw her husband’s attention. She thinks that by this she will keep hold of her husband, as if she had been created to keep hold of him. In such a situation unrest arises in the family. Little by little the husband’s heart begins to tremble. He dreads speaking to his wife. Because instead of lifting her husband’s spirits and gladdening him, the wife, with her constant oppression and poisonous tongue, has turned into an ogress. If he thinks of giving her up, he has children; besides, his manly honor does not allow him to give up his wife. And the wife files away at her husband’s nerves as much as she likes and shortens his life; not once does she think, “Am I not oppressing my husband?”; knowingly or unknowingly, she humiliates her husband and makes him worthless. Real men do not fight with women. Because there is no way to win against women. After all, it does not befit the brave to measure themselves against the weak, and the wives who do not understand this escalate and do not stop dragging their husband’s name through the mud and raging. It is said that even the angels curse wives who are irritable with their husbands, who even glare at them. Woe to the state of those who raise their voices and behave without manners. Allah curses such wives and makes them fuel for Hell. Of course, there are also wise and virtuous women. They know well the duty that lies upon them, they fulfill it with all their heart, they gladden their husband’s heart and turn the family into a fortress of peace and happiness. But some weak women who have heard about defending women’s rights in the name of gender equality may also use this means to restrain their husbands and break them. The truth is that a land where men are not valued is humiliated; because of women who know no limits, misery covers the world; whether husband or wife, it is right for each to know their limit, to refrain from oppression, and to examine themselves more rather than blaming their spouse. Both husband and wife should strive for there to be peace in the family; let the two of them cherish each other. But today wives seem not to think at all about cherishing their husbands; on the contrary, they seem to be saying, “I will get the better of my husband” — may Allah grant us refuge. If men say, “Am I not tormenting my wife?” and wives say, “Am I not causing my husband hardship? What can I do to make things easier for my husband?” — then the world is a rose garden. Of course, wives who reproach their husbands for every single nail they hammer in at home are doomed to misery.