In this text I want to tell you about the methods of upbringing of the people of old — or, better said, of…

In this text I want to tell you about the methods of upbringing of the people of old — or, better said, of enlightened families. If you want your children to be clear-minded, perceptive and discerning, affectionate toward one another and living in harmony, master these rules firmly and apply them in practice: 1. Never put your children down. Do not say, “You can’t manage anything, you’re a wimp, you’re stupid.” As far as possible, raise them with good words. So, saying humiliating words to a child is absolutely and absolutely forbidden. 2. Never complain about your child’s faults and shortcomings, even to the people closest to you. 3. Call your child with respect, both in front of strangers and in front of relatives; treat him gently, and at the same time do not pamper and spoil him; even when he makes a mistake, tell him about it with seriousness and gentleness. 4. If the need arises to punish a child, first bring him to admit his fault. Create the conditions for him to understand it himself. Then he will understand that he deserves the punishment. Do not go beyond the limit in punishment. But before the punishment, forgive clearly and plainly three times. 5. Dear mothers! Do not speak harshly to your child out of irritation with your husband; this is a sign of bad upbringing and foolishness. 6. If a child makes a mistake, try to get him to realize for himself what mistake he has made. Know how to say, “Think about it yourself.” If you are upset, show it with certain signs. Allow him to think, “I have hurt my father” or “my mother,” to reflect on which of his actions caused it, to feel sorry, and to set it right on his own initiative. 7. So that a boy becomes resolute, give him tasks that require resolve. So that a girl becomes graceful, always treat her gently. With both girls and boys, it is better for the father not to speak openly himself but to speak through the mother. This hierarchical order is extremely important. 8. Accustom your children to keep the family’s secrets and their own secrets firmly. Do not bring up or tell to anyone else — still less throw in his face in front of someone else — the things that are a secret for him and that you know. At times let him know with a hint that you share secrets with each other: in the form of “You know what I mean, right!” 9. Dear parents! If a disagreement arises between you, never speak ill of each other to your child. If you strictly follow these rules of upbringing, you will raise a child of calm nature, who does not get nervous, who is patient, gentle and dignified, perceptive and pure in nature, insha Allah. Naturally, always make dua for your child. Do not forget this dua on any day of yours. There are many rules connected with raising children; those that seemed essential have been set out.

Akrom MALIK