Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

PREGNANCY, CHILD CARE AND UPBRINGING

Part One

Dujon

Uzbeks are a child-loving people. Is it possible not to love children? It turns out it is. It turns out it is possible not to want to have children and to prefer raising a puppy instead of a child. It turns out it is even possible to consider not having children a good thing. Yes, once human nature is corrupted, even graver things than this spread. A child is the meaning of life. The kernel of one’s years. Turning away from it is selfishness, pessimism and inhumanity. Come, let us first talk about vocabulary. “Boshqorongu boldi” (her head has darkened) — this is said when a pregnant woman’s heart craves something. “Yukli boldi” (she became laden), “Ikkiqat boldi” (she became twofold), “Ogiroyoq ekan” (she is heavy-footed), “Homilador boldi” (she became pregnant), “Kotardi” (she has conceived) — these phrases are used about a woman who is expecting a child. “Dujon” (two-souled), “Yukli” (laden), “Homilador” (pregnant), “Ogiroyoq” (heavy-footed) — names given to a woman who is expecting a child. “Gumona” — the name of the fetus in a woman’s womb. The first sign of pregnancy shows itself with nausea, and this period passes in different ways in different women. It is not an easy and light process. But it is the greatest honor that has fallen to women’s lot. If women could not bear it, humanity would be deprived of the blessing of leaving offspring and reaching perfection. Being pregnant and bringing a child into the world is the most unique and greatest task among the things womankind does. Naturally, fulfilling this task demands great steadfastness and moral strength from a woman. A pregnant woman is bringing an entire human being into the world. The child to be born, if God grants him life, may become the continuer of the lineage, a servant of the people, a good and fair person. Secondly, the woman is putting her own life at risk and, consciously, of her own will, longing for it, taking upon herself a heavy hardship. The whole family becomes a helper for the health of both mother and child and for reaching the days of birth safe and sound. In this, everyone has his own task. First of all, there is some difference between a woman upon whose shoulders the work of motherhood has fallen for the first time and a woman carrying her second and subsequent children. It is good if first motherhood comes at a younger age for a woman, say, at nineteen and in the years close after it, because a young body is strong and resilient; secondly, in youth the fear of what danger is does not run strong; the older a person grows, the more fearful and the more cautious he becomes. That is why if a woman becomes a mother at a younger age, the process goes more easily. Once it is known that she is pregnant, let the first act of the mother-to-be be to give thanks to God and to praise Him. The bitterness of childlessness is heavy; let her rejoice that God is granting her the blessing of a child. Then let her keep her spirit, mind and heart strong: let her not surrender herself captive to any anxiety or fear. Then one must hold firmly to modesty. Let her not show herself off saying she is pregnant; this vice has now become widespread, and doing so is shameful; in terms of modesty it is better for a pregnant woman to stay inside the house and in the courtyard. Nausea, dizziness, weakness, in some cases the appearance of spots on the face, and changes in mood must be accepted with steadfastness. It is wise for her to tell her husband the things her heart craves and to keep herself upright as far as possible. A pregnant woman keeps herself under strict control in two matters: she must eat on time and not go hungry. Secondly, she must certainly keep to moderate physical activity.

One should try to eat foods that give strength and develop the child. She needs to do certain physical exercises every day according to a special routine. Let the food be digested and absorbed into the woman’s body, for the child takes his strength from the mother’s body; he takes flesh, sinew and bone, blood and water from it. Today the mother-to-be must certainly attend the doctor’s scheduled checkups regularly and follow the recommendations given. But it is wise to discuss the doctor’s words and recommendations with her mother, sister and other close, experienced women relatives. When the time of birth draws near, one should not rush to the maternity hospital at once, but rather learn the main signs that come precisely before the child comes into the world and be patient until they appear. She should keep her strength as far as possible and stay calm and quiet. It is good for the father-to-be not to get overexcited by the news, to control himself and not to reveal his feelings to every passerby. He should watch both the physical and the mental state of his wife, encourage her when needed, never lose his composure in any situation, and not share inner secrets with strangers. Preparing, at the proper time and in moderation, the things his wife’s heart longs for is his task. If his wife is sometimes capricious, one must bear it. One must not allow a pregnant woman to be distressed, to grieve or to strain herself with excessively hard physical work. These states certainly affect the mental, intellectual and physical qualities of the baby taking shape in the mother’s womb. The mother-in-law should take care of her pregnant daughter-in-law, while at the same time not spoiling her. She must be attentive to her eating and drinking well and to her physical activity, and keep it under supervision. It is wise for the daughter-in-law’s mother to keep informed of her daughter’s condition, to be a source of emotional support, and to keep telling her that this will pass very easily and lightly. Before going to the maternity hospital, the women, naturally, gather all the necessary things for the mother-to-be and tell her about the process of childbirth. No one has the right to make the mother-to-be anxious. Rather, it is fitting to give hints that everything will be easy and quick and not to pay excessive attention to the matter. The more it is accepted as an ordinary process, the more smoothly things go. Let the mother-to-be regard pregnancy as an ordinary, everyday process and keep busy with her own work and duties, and let her not expect excessive attention from anyone. Naturally, the young wife and the young husband, the parents and the parents-in-law — all must pray unceasingly that the mother is delivered safe and sound and that the child sees the face of the world in good health.

Akrom MALIK