The great have this counsel: “If we divide perfect character into ten parts, nine of them consist of…

The great have this counsel: “If we divide perfect character into ten parts, nine of them consist of taghaful.” Taghaful means knowing and acting as if you do not know. That is, seeing the mistakes and the ignorant behavior of the people around you, you act as if you have not seen; knowing, you act as if you do not know. You turn a blind eye to them. There are several reasons for this. Let us mention some of them: 1. If you tell a person about their mistake, they do not always correct it; rather, an awkward situation arises between you. 2. A mistake may come from ignorance or from weakness. A mistake made out of ignorance, that is, from not knowing, is remedied by knowledge. Weakness is being unable to control oneself, giving in to anger or emotion. Not all people are capable of overcoming anger and emotion. So here the remedy is to develop an inner strength sufficient to overcome anger and emotion. Rebuking someone who lacks such strength is not right at that moment. 3. For a person to accept advice, two conditions must be present: 1) the heart of the one who needs the advice must be softened and his nafs broken — then the words will reach his ears and he will think; 2) the one giving the advice must have strong influence and be skilled in using the most correct and suitable ways of advising. Then the advice bears fruit; otherwise the words go to waste. 4. Some people are utterly ignorant and vile; they disregard what is sacred, and so a meaningful word is never said to them; just as “chuh” and “ishhh” or “ikhhh” are enough for cattle and donkeys, such a person is spoken to in the vocabulary he knows. Whenever possible, one flees from such vile people and keeps far away. 5. Advice bears more fruit not through long words, but through kindness and love, through deeds and example. A person who wants to correct someone must give that person kindness, forgive him and give him time to realize his mistake himself. O Truth, perhaps there will be a result. Every good thing comes after patience. Patience with the ignorant saves both you and them from much trouble: you do not waste words; he does not argue with you. By the way, if you want to protect your heart from pain and your mood from sinking, make an effort: sincerely go far away from the places and the people that upset you; strive to keep the words that hurt you from being said; most importantly, drive away bad thoughts. Create a calm and peaceful environment for yourself. Perhaps then our morals would be protected; our health would remain intact; our hearts would not bleed and we ourselves would not be distressed; otherwise our strength leaves us, and we squander our priceless minutes and breaths on useless quarrels, resentment and sorrow. If backbiting, other people’s lives, their affairs, sins, good deeds, successes and failures did not soil our conversations, it would be light upon light. Has our own life become so orderly that we should sit in judgment on others?! As much as we can, let us live joyfully, my dear ones.