CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

HOUSEHOLD ITEMS, CLOTHING AND SOCIAL MEDIA IN THE FAMILY

Household items are a necessity for every family. We can study them by dividing them into several groups: 1. Kitchen items. If we include things that have been used since old times — the cauldron, the stove, the tandoor oven, the basin, the bucket, the ladle, the large serving platter, the plate, the bowl, the cup, the spoon, the fork, the knife, the manti steamer, the frying pan, the colander, the sieve, the dough cloth, the rolling pin and board, the grinding mortar — we must also add the things used more recently: the meat grinder, the microwave, the refrigerator, the mixer and other electrical appliances. Since eating is an inseparable part of human life, it follows that keeping the things needed for cooking ready and keeping them clean is also a necessity. Nowadays in the cities many people have grown used to eating out and to ordering food from outside. But in earlier chapters we reflected on why this is not a very good thing. That is why the kitchen utensils must be kept ready and the kitchen itself must be made into a place worth envying, so that the mistresses of our homes may make use of it with ease. Let us prepare beautiful conditions for the mothers of our children, our daughters, our sisters — let us say, for our women who regard the kitchen as a place of delight and an occasion for a feast of the heart. Whether they bake bread and somsa, cook manti or khonim, stuff hasip and boil shurpa, fry meat and pull noodles for lagman, fold chuchvara dumplings and wrap dolma, or make mastava and ajabsanda, moshkhurda and moshkichiri, atala and holvaytar, gilmindi and qatlama, dimlama and qozon kabob and, finally, palovkhontura and shavla — whichever of them they wish to prepare and set on the table with joy, let all the “weapons” stand ready! Let the things needed for cooking also be in abundance: meat and tail fat, carrots and potatoes, onions and garlic, sweet peppers and hot peppers, rice and buckwheat, chickpeas and beans, mung beans and maize. Let us also provide sugar and rock candy, white sugar sweets and parvarda, honey and butter. Then the task of the mistresses is to cherish the kitchen utensils like the pupil of the eye and to use the ingredients by the gram, that is, by the measure — let the household be just like this, abundant and prosperous! Let preparing breakfast, lunch, the afternoon snack and supper become a ritual of its own in the kitchen; let our women, treating every member of the family to delicious food, be filled with peace and contentment, and let us too, with honey dripping from our tongues, praise them! We will repeat the most basic rule once more: cherish everything like the pupil of your eye; let not even a single cup break! Let not even a single drop of oil fall to the ground and go to waste!

2. Household tools. If kitchen items are the weapons of women, household tools serve the men: the ketmon hoe, the shovel, the screwdriver, the pliers, the saw, the axe, the hammer, the adze, the trowel, the plane, the nail puller and the like. To this list one can also add the hacksaw, the bolt cutter, the mattock, the drill, the angle grinder, the tin snips and the car wrenches. A man must be able to fix what is broken in his home — to plaster the walls, repair the taps, mend things that have fallen off, broken or come apart. All of this is in fact easy; it only takes a little diligence and attention. Of course, a family living in a house with a courtyard makes every span of the land green and flourishing, and leading this work is also the man’s duty. Just as kitchen items stand in their own cupboard, household tools should also be kept in a separate room, for taking care of every tool that serves you is a reward for its service. Likewise, it is good if the man also has experience in butchery, that is, in slaughtering animals; if such experience is gained, it is also recommended to own knives and whetstones for slaughtering animals. We have spoken about the tools needed in the family; now we turn to the matter of clothing. A person whose mind has matured abstains from tight clothes and bright colors. That is, he wears dignified clothes with long sleeves that are not too wide. It is considered good manners not only for women but also for men to avoid leaving their forearms and calves uncovered. In this sense, clothes with sleeves in summer and winter alike, clothes of sober and light colors, suit every person; no doubt, clothing is a matter of taste, but it is advisable that it lets the air through. Faithfulness is a quality every person needs, yet very few people have it. A faithful person keeps faith even with his clothes. Buying quality clothing and wearing it for a long time comes from contentment and faithfulness. Buying new clothes every season is not quite right. There are two reasons for this: either poor-quality clothing was chosen, so it cannot serve; or, secondly, even if the clothing is of good quality, the craving for new things is proof that victory over whims and fancies has not yet been won. No doubt, there are separate clothes for home and for outdoors. A person wears out the clothes he wears at home a great deal, and home clothes wear out quickly. If outdoor clothes are also worn at home, they lose their freshness and newness. Whereas it is fitting for a person who goes out to wear beautiful and new clothes. In this way he does a kindness to people’s eyes: when people see a person in beautiful clothes, a warmth involuntarily enters their hearts. Likewise, it is good to keep special clothes for holidays and weddings. For people rejoice at holidays and weddings, and beautiful new clothes lift the mood. Of course, just as being obsessed with clothes and going too far in adorning and decorating oneself is ugly, so too is neglecting oneself, wearing dirty and torn clothes, and making oneself look poor and wretched unpleasant. Tidying the hair and beard and using fragrances such as musk is a necessity. When putting on new clothes, a small washing — that is, cleansing the neck and hands with water — is important; besides helping to keep the clothes clean, it prevents unpleasant odors from coming from a person. Dressing in revealing, glittering, skin-tight clothes is close to disgrace; a respectable person dresses in loose, plain and sober clothes that are closed and long. Clothes made for sports are fitting for sports and for home; for going out, it is fitting to wear a shirt with sleeves and trousers. As for women’s clothing, this is a well-known matter — a woman who respects herself does not show strangers’ eyes the parts of herself that may not be shown; she does not stand in the ranks of the fools who walk about half-naked and take pride in it; she is not so ignorant as to prove her freedom or the freedom of her thought by exposing her body. Likewise, she stays far from the vice of wrapping a scarf around her head, calling it hijab, and showing off everything below the waist. In short, clothing is also the outward appearance of a person’s inner world. Now let us touch on social media. In the family, not being active on social networks without need, and refraining from putting likes under all sorts of material and writing all sorts of things, should be the main rule. In general, it is recommended to stay away from social media and to use it only for clear purposes. Parents must not put a smartphone into their children’s hands, and if they do, they must check it constantly. The main thing is that your child does not join the ranks of Viners and the like and become occupied with idle pursuits. In the treatise “The Exemplary Family” we are trying to cover all the issues that may arise in a family. In doing so, we are gathering topics that are close to one another. In this chapter we have mentioned the topics of household items, clothing and social media in one place. For these topics seemed connected not with the inner or spiritual, but with the material and physical matters of the family.

Akrom MALIK