CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ONE THE RULER OF THE FAMILY — THE FATHER

Section One The Father’s Standing

The father’s standing is never a subject of dispute. The father is the head of the family. His word is the word. One may not go against his opinion. No command of his may be left unfulfilled. When the father speaks, everyone falls silent and listens to him. The father is not backbitten. No one carries tales against the father. The things the father has bought are looked after with care. The father’s friends are regarded as friends, his enemies as enemies. The father’s brothers — the uncles — are respected like the father and obeyed. No deeds are done and no words are said that would hurt the father. When the father gives a command, all work is stopped and that task is carried out. Even if, in worldly matters, the father orders something that causes the child material loss, it is carried out with great love. The father’s wish stands above the wishes of everyone in the home. The father’s mistake is not discussed. The father is not reproached by his child for any fault of his. If someone reproaches the father behind his back, the child at once defends him firmly. No deeds are done that would bring down the father’s honor or lower his standing. No opinions are voiced against the father’s views and thoughts. If the father asks for advice, the advice is given after long reflection and in a low voice. When speaking with the father, one speaks with a smiling face and shining eyes. One does not sit sadly in the father’s presence. At his threshold all sorrows and worries are forgotten. Whatever the problem, it is laid before the father and his advice is sought. Whatever the success, it is told beautifully, and the father is made glad. In front of the father one sits on one’s knees; one does not sprawl or lie down. When the father rises from his place, the child rises at once as well. One does not stare straight into the father’s eyes. One does not speak ill of other people’s fathers; rather, in their presence their fathers too are mentioned with reverence. Only the father’s good qualities are remembered, spoken of, and taken as an example. One stands ready to serve the father. The father’s need is met before he even mentions it. As far as possible, the child watches the father’s eyes and movements, senses what he intends to do and what he wants, and does that task and prepares that thing. Every day dua is made for the father. Raising one’s voice in front of the father, laughing out loud, or saying improper words is absolutely not permissible. If the father orders something outside the Sharia, it is not done; one keeps silent without a word, neither voicing an objection nor answering back.

Akrom MALIK