CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER THREE THE SON

Section One The Qualities of a Son

As great an honor as it is to live as a son in a family, it is just as great a responsibility. A son is the continuer of the lineage. The lamp of hopes. The strength of the family. The protection of the family. The pillar of the family. The root of the family. A son's character decides everything — if he grows up possessing perfect morals, he lights up the whole family and lets his father and mother live in happiness; God forbid, if a son grows up unworthy, he becomes the darkness and misfortune of the family, the decline of his parents' life, and the beginning of disgrace. A son must grasp this truth from the moment he comes of reason. Conditions must be prepared for him to grasp it. A son is composed, calm, responsible, and his actions are decisive. He does not gape about, he does not slouch. He thinks not with emotion but with reason and discipline. He does not stoop to pettiness; he deeply understands pettiness and greatness, courage and baseness, honor and humiliation. He is magnanimous and courageous; he is intelligent and fearless; he is strong and hardworking; he is prudent and cool-headed; he is compassionate and kind; he is calculating and thinks far ahead. From adolescence a son steps toward independence — taking money from his parents is shameful for him; he thinks about carrying his own burden, about not throwing his dead weight onto someone else, about not being a freeloader. He hates talkativeness and finds ways to convey his aim in short sentences; he loves to get the job done and keep quiet. He holds his tongue firmly. He does not babble. He does not peddle nonsense. He is disgusted by flattery. He never accepts two-facedness and lies. A son restrains his lust. He is ashamed to behave frivolously in secluded corners with girls who are the honor of other families — with women unrelated to him. He regards bobbing about, giggling and chattering with girls in the streets and in vehicles as shameful and brazen. A son does not run after unrelated women and girls with lust the way a bull that has broken its rope runs after heifers and cows; he keeps himself firm, clean and pure; he sets his heart on the girl his parents have chosen, marries the girl his parents have found, and cherishes her; he reconciles his mind and his heart to this; he does not whine about “my heart” or “my desire”; and if he does set his heart on some chaste girl, he finds a way to let his parents know with modesty and wisdom, in order to make her his lawful spouse. He does not go about tearfully, mumbling in helplessness. A son wins his parents' approval by serving them and bringing them joy with sweet words. He is a possessor of fortitude and steadfastness. A son is not a complainer; he is a problem-solver. He does not degrade himself with drink, does not engage in gambling, and does not come to ruin through indecency. He is firm in his decisions; he is content. He is far from such traits as irritability and grumbling. From the time he comes of reason he becomes strong; he works with a plan and in order; he tempers his will. A son loves knowledge and values the people of knowledge. If he takes the path of knowledge, he becomes a true scholar; if he takes the path of a craft or profession, he rises in skill and maturity. He struggles until he finds his path, and once he has found it, he stands firm on that path. A son is the soldier of the family. His father's trust and support, his mother's prop and comfort. He acts on his father's advice, obeys his command, and cherishes his mother. Because he is a SON.

Akrom MALIK