Look into your heart: does it long for a friend? Does it say, “If only there were someone with whom I could…

Look into your heart: does it long for a friend? Does it say, “If only there were someone with whom I could share my sorrows and cares; if only he could lean on me, and I on him, without any sense of obligation”? Are you saying, “I need a friend who keeps my secrets, who wishes me well, who prays for me and, if I go astray, guides me back to the right path”? Then these words are for you: please, do not rush! First of all, know that such a friend can be only one person. Second, do not forget that such a friend must be a friend for the Day of Resurrection. A friend for the Day of Resurrection is one who, if you are sentenced to Hell, will take your sins upon his own shoulders and beg God to let you enter Paradise. A traitor who, already in this world, learns of some of your faults and sells them to everyone, trampling you underfoot, is no different from a treacherous wife. Third, look around you: who is worthy of being such a friend? Whose heart has a need for a friend? Do you see a person of high enough standing to be a friend, someone brave and deep-thinking? And is that person affectionate toward you? Fourth, if you find such a person, you must wait five years. In the first year you study him. You look at his weak and strong sides: if he is a liar, a breaker of promises, two-faced and talkative, someone who does his work carelessly, turn away and leave without a word. Do not even keep company with such worthless people. If your observations show that he is pure and honest, then do him material kindnesses, gradually build conversations, get to know his world. Do things together as partners. But do not reveal your own secrets. This continues for a year. In the third year, distance yourself from him a little, then ask him for help: borrow money, delay the repayment, and return it as if with great difficulty. In the fourth year, put him to a serious test: speak harshly, quarrel, offend him. If, despite all this, he looks upon you with kindness, does not abandon you, and tries to understand you and show you the way, then he has passed the test. In the fifth year, examine him strictly once again; analyze every situation. On the whole, in five years life itself gives you the chance to see a person from every side. If his heart is gentle, his mind sound, his thinking deep, his work honest, his understanding sharp; if he is compassionate, firm where firmness is due, ready to give his life for a friend, always prepared to defend him, and if his heart, too, needs a friend and confidant, then you may make a pact, open your hearts to each other, and become friends. Otherwise, you will fall into the trap of a false friend and be destroyed. If you find a true friend, you will never see betrayal. If you meet a traitor, he will burn your heart in both worlds. He will sell you out, do you harm, and out of envy fabricate slanders against your honor. Peace be upon the faithful, and may Allah's punishment be upon the traitors!