Faith
There is no yearning in my worship, no feeling, my God,
Translated from Uzbek · Original text
There is no yearning in my worship, no feeling, my God,There is no scent of fear within my heart, my God,There is no trace of seeking forgiveness, not a trace, my God,What kind of servant of Yours have I become, I am stunned at my state,With my eyes like stone, I am lifeless and drained…In the desert of my life I found no piety,If only I had found a fatwa for my deeds,I found myself incurable, beyond all remedy,If I die, what use is it, after all — I am already dead,Buried in a pain, not yet raised to life.My words came crushing down on my head like stones,The stones rose up over my head like a wall,Rebellion made me drunk, my madness overflowed,I am a melancholic, burned up by his own bile,A lover of my own ego — besotted with it.There is not a single deed of mine that is not a mistake,I said mistake — in truth, I am the one afflicted!Satan is not even fit to be my apprentice,It is I who wove the snare of my own trickery,It is I who read the book of guile.I pressed no sherbet of remorse for the heart,I have not yet roamed the valleys of repentance,I was cut off, but I did not cut off hope in You,Do not cut the rope of mercy, our Lord,Do not hang me in Satan’s noose, our Lord.It is easy for You — if You open the gates of unveiling,If You show what is good and rewarding in our deeds,If You gather the true beloved ones around me,If only I could be the dog of the people of Truth,If only I could vanish in their footsteps and die…Do not send calamity, I am already in calamity,I am in exile with my wandering spirit,I am the executioner of my own heart,From You alone I await salvation, my Lord,For this dead body I await life, my Lord!..Akrom MALIK
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