Faith
At times I was heedless, at times my senses were with me,
Translated from Uzbek · Original text
At times I was heedless, at times my senses were with me,At times my friend was faithful, at times an ill-omened friend.To bow my neck to You, to bend before You —That is my one and only task in life, O Beloved.My Beloved is You alone, my loving Lord!All I have is You alone, my loving Lord!I am a dog that roams about Your door,A wailing one who thirsts for Your mercy, my Lord!At times I gave in to my ego and lost my way,At times I stepped on thorns, knowing full well!..Never did I dig a pit for anyone,If I dug, I dug it only for myself.I never wished to hurt a single soul,Not tree, not human, not animal — none!If I have erred, my error, O Lord,Came about through love; forgive it, You!..In my soul, my ego wages many wars,In my words, pain takes on many hues.My heart has blackened from my sinning,But never has the rust of envy been there.At times, when heat came, I fanned myself, my Lord,At times, when cold came, I stamped my feet, my Lord.In whatever state, in whatever place,I yearned only for Your friends, my Lord.To be Your slave — that is my sole intent,With this thought, this hope, I grew and came of age.I am utterly content with the fate You gave,My hand will not reach out to another's table.Knowingly and unknowingly I loved the children of Adam,In the end this love made me cry out.Among the faithless, cruel and ignorantI had forgotten even my lineage and my name.The hurt they caused has not left me still,Their bitter wounds have not healed still.Perhaps all anguish is a medicine,Which means my illness has not left me still.In those days my heart was a glowing ember,My heart was full with friends and beloveds.When they plunged daggers in my chest, I knew —I had no fault except my loving.Your command stands firm, Your prohibition fixed,The lover and the worshipper are bound by it.On the necks of the sound and sane, a chain,But from the madmen's necks it falls away.Without You, how can I keep myself from sin?!After all, I was buried in the earth alive...The eyes of the slaves are blind, all are ignorant,Before whom but You can I justify myself?Grant everyone the blessing of repentance, O Lord,There is no limit to Your forgiveness and mercy.Turning to Your glory with tears in his eyes,This slave of Yours complains of his state.“Keep me forever on the path of obedience to You,”What I ask of You is — love for You...Though I be black from head to toe,Answer the prayer of this wronged slave!..Akrom MALIK
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