It is better not to break off relations with people. It is good to maintain long-standing ties with people,…

It is better not to break off relations with people. It is good to maintain long-standing ties with people, and it is fitting to establish dealings with those with whom you have exchanged greetings for a long time. A mature person does not run after new friends, nor is he keen to cut ties with old acquaintances. A wise person knows the worth of dear old friends. The whole point lies in having those dear old friends. There is a science to keeping warm and sincere relations with the people around you. For nowadays, among most young people and even adults, there are many bitter stories connected with friends who were once close and then grew cold. These stories are wounds of the heart. A person must keep himself safe from such wounds and injuries; otherwise sorrow and grief kill a person's talent, darken his heart, dull his mind and set his affairs back. A person must know the value of the purity and serenity within him. Thoughts do not always flow freely; one is not always surrounded by friends; honor and respect, love and loyalty are not preserved forever — they undergo changes, tremors occur, losses happen. But it is possible to prevent such spiritual earthquakes. Today, as far as God enables us and to the best of our ability, we will learn the science of this. The sixth discourse of Hazrat Alisher Navoi's epic “Hayrat ul-Abror” is about adab (good manners). According to our great forefather, the places where adab shows itself are as follows: 1. The family: adab toward one's wife, children and parents. 2. Adab toward servants. 3. Adab toward the young. 4. Adab toward elders. 5. Adab toward one's peers. 6. The etiquette of state service. Each of these requires a separate commentary; here we want to draw attention to two points: the great do not consider standing up for children out of respect to be adab, because as a result the child becomes arrogant and you lose your dignity. This is the advice of Hazrat Alisher Navoi. Another one we wish to quote is this: whoever is your peer, treat him accordingly: neither raise him too high nor bring him too low. In our view, these words of wisdom are a reminder of the rule: keep the golden mean. That is, be moderate. Among these words, our forefather also mentioned the great saying: the best of affairs is the middle one. One of the biggest causes of the breakdown of relations between people is the loss of the golden mean. Getting excessively close leads to estrangement. When you are far apart, you neigh to each other; when you are close, you bite each other. Another wise saying emphasized by Hazrat Alisher Navoi in “Nazm ul-Javohir”: “Visit friends at intervals, and love will increase.” If a person does not want to lose the one he loves, he must from time to time free his beloved from himself. As has been stressed with great truth: “If you love someone, do not love them excessively; one day you may come to hate them. If you hate someone, do not go to excess in this either; one day you may come to love them.” Getting too close wearies most people. Likewise, it is better to keep declarations of feeling hidden. If they multiply, they lose their value and stop having any effect. This is a rule that applies to people in general. Those who never tire of each other are Shams and Rumi. Those who are not sure they can be Shams and Rumi must let some air in between them from time to time. But this advice is of no use to those whose hearts burn in the fire of passion; such a one keeps following his beloved anyway, and as a result, one day, having lost his beloved completely, with his insides turned to ice, he comes face to face with this written wisdom and takes this rule firmly to heart. It is better to hold to moderation from the start, for it becomes a protection and armor against these pains and torments, separations and laments. In general, everyone benefits from it, and everything goes smoothly. The likelihood of disasters also decreases.

Akrom MALIK